Refusing Sex

Question: I have a question: if I decline my husband for intimate relations after he was cruel, is it haram for me? and I avoid him because of fear to communicate like a wife sleeping next to him? Is it haram for me? بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيْم In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful

Answer:

Dear sister, if you are experiencing marital issues, we advise that you seek professional Islamic marriage counseling from a qualified Alim to save your marriage from falling apart. Also, we suggest that you and your husband study the following book and act upon its contents for a successful, blissful marriage:

https://archive.org/details/AshrafsBlessingsOfMarriage

If your husband, according to what you mentioned, is being cruel, then apart from yourself, he is also causing great harm to himself. However, that is not a valid basis to refuse intimate relations. Refusing sexual intimacy would just intensify his cruelty and not make it disappear. The Prophet (SAW) said:

عن أم سلمة أم المؤمنين: أَيُّما امرأةٍ ماتَتْ وزوجُها عنها راضٍ دخَلَتِ الجنةَ

سنن الترمذي ١١٦١

Translation: Any woman who passed away in such a condition that her husband is pleased with her will enter Paradise.

For more details regarding the ruling of refusing intimate relations, kindly refer to the following link:

https://daruliftabirmingham.co.uk/can-i-stop-my-husband-from-having-relations-with-me-in-this-situation/

Only Allah knows best

Written by Maulana Mohammad Ahsan Osmani Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah Darul Ifta Birmingham