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Question:
I have a question: if I decline my husband for intimate relations after he was cruel, is it haram for me? and I avoid him because of fear to communicate like a wife sleeping next to him? Is it haram for me?
بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيْم
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
Answer:
Dear sister, if you are experiencing marital issues, we advise that you seek professional Islamic marriage counseling from a qualified Alim to save your marriage from falling apart. Also, we suggest that you and your husband study the following book and act upon its contents for a successful, blissful marriage:
If your husband, according to what you mentioned, is being cruel, then apart from yourself, he is also causing great harm to himself. However, that is not a valid basis to refuse intimate relations. Refusing sexual intimacy would just intensify his cruelty and not make it disappear. The Prophet (SAW) said:
عن أم سلمة أم المؤمنين: أَيُّما امرأةٍ ماتَتْ وزوجُها عنها راضٍ دخَلَتِ الجنةَ
سنن الترمذي ١١٦١
Translation: Any woman who passed away in such a condition that her husband is pleased with her will enter Paradise.
For more details regarding the ruling of refusing intimate relations, kindly refer to the following link:
Only Allah knows best
Written by Maulana Mohammad Ahsan Osmani Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah Darul Ifta Birmingham