Controlling sexual desires
Question: If a 20-year-old Muslim boy can't control his sexual desires, what should he do according to Islam? Answer: ﺑﺴﻢ اﷲ اﻟﺮﺣﻤﻦ اﻟﺮﺣﯿﻢ In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful It is normal for a man at that age to be overwhelmed by sexual desires. However, Islam teaches us to fulfill our desires lawfully. First and foremost, if one can get married, that would be the best option. If he is incapable of doing that, then he should fast as much as he can. The Prophet (SAW) said, “O youth! Whoever can afford to get married, then let him do so, for verily it is the best means of lowering the gaze and protecting the privates. And whoever is incapable (of marrying), then he should fast, for verily it (fasting) will crush his desires.” (Bukhari: Hadith 5066) Generally, single men get arousing thoughts when they have a lot of free time, thus they should occupy themselves with the remembrance of Allah (SWT), recitation of the Quran, seeking Islamic knowledge, and being in the company of the pious scholars. Another factor that stirs up a man’s sexual desires is not guarding one’s gaze against looking at a non-mahram female, thus one should lower one’s gaze whenever they are in the presence of non-mahram females and avoid mixed gatherings. Allah (SWT) says, “Tell the believing men to lower their gazes and guard their privates.” (Surah An-Noor: verse 30). In this verse, guarding one’s gaze is mentioned before guarding the privates. This indicates that guarding one’s gaze is a means of guarding one’s privates. When sexual thoughts and fantasies come to mind do not entertain them nor pay any attention to them, rather occupy yourself in doing good deeds. Take a few minutes out daily and ponder over death and what will take place after it, e.g. life in the grave, the Day of Judgement, the Hellfire, etc., especially when one is overwhelmed by sexual desires. Also, ponder that Allah (SWT) is watching you and knows what you are thinking about. Remind yourself of the great rewards that await those who control their sexual desires for attaining Allah’s pleasure. We suggest that you study this book, inshaAllah it will make your struggle easy for you and be a means of motivation:
May Allah (SWT) grant us chastity and protect us from the evils of our desires. Aameen.
Only Allah knows best
Written by Maulana Mohammad Ahsan Osmani
Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah
Darul Ifta Birmingham