Treatment of wives

Salam Alykum, 

I have read that a man, even though he must give each wife her own place to live, does not have to live with either and may live separately. When it is each wife’s turn, he calls her to his house, even if she does not consent or feel comfortable. I am not referring to refusing to be with the husband, but to the discomfort of having to leave her home when it is her turn, losing the stability of sharing a house with her husband and children. She may feel uneasy sleeping in the same bed the other wife uses or being treated like a slave invited one day, sent away the next, as if she is a commodity.

Why must a woman endure a life she finds uncomfortable? Why can’t she have the right to stability, staying in her home while the husband comes to her instead? Is it fair that she is treated like an object, summoned and dismissed at will? If kindness is obligatory, how is it kind for a man to avoid living with either wife while expecting them to accept this arrangement? Why not have one house for each wife and share that home with her when it is her turn? when the woman makes it clear that she is not comfortable with this, and tells him let's have a house together me and you, and another house you and your other wife, rather than making each come to a house and then leave and the other comes, as if we are your property or commodity or slaves.

Answer:

In the name of Allah the most Gracious the most Merciful, 

Wa alaikum Salam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu,

Allah swt has granted the man the right to marry up to 4 wives, on the condition that he's able to take care of them, provide for them and most importantly, he is able to do justice between them. 

فان خفتم الا تعدلوا فواحدة 

"If you fear that you'd be unable to do justice between them, then only one (you can marry)" 

And how should a person do justice between them and treat them fairly? Answer is found in the blessed Sunnah of Rasūl-Allāh s.a.w.w. 

لقد كان لكم في رسول الله اسوة حسنة

"You have a perfect example in (life of) Rasūl-Allāh "

He had married 11 women in his life, 9 of them at the same time. He had given a home to each and every one of them, and he had appointed them each a day, that he would spend with them. Prophet s.a.w.w himself would go to their homes and never call them to him. This way he maintained their dignity and fairness between them.

The way of the Prophet s.a.w.w is the guiding light for us in this world and the Hereafter, and every Muslim should follow him. Those who do not, have committed wrong and must correct their ways. 

And Allah knows best 

Mufti Umer Farooq Saleem