Question:
I have a question: if I decline my husband for intimate relations after he was cruel, is it haram for me? and I avoid him because of fear to communicate like a wife sleeping next to him? Is it haram for me?
بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيْم
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
Answer
Dear sister, if you are experiencing marital issues, we advise that you seek professional Islamic marriage counseling from a qualified Alim to save your marriage from falling apart. Also, we suggest that you and your husband study the following book and act upon its contents for a successful, blissful marriage:
https://archive.org/details/AshrafsBlessingsOfMarriage
If your husband, according to what you mentioned, is being cruel, then apart from yourself, he is also causing great harm to himself. However, that is not a valid basis to refuse intimate relations. Refusing sexual intimacy would just intensify his cruelty and not make it disappear. The Prophet (SAW) said:
عن أم سلمة أم المؤمنين: أَيُّما امرأةٍ ماتَتْ وزوجُها عنها راضٍ دخَلَتِ الجنةَ
سنن الترمذي ١١٦١
Translation: Any woman who passed away in such a condition that her husband is pleased with her will enter Paradise.
For more details regarding the ruling of refusing intimate relations, kindly refer to the following link:
Only Allah knows best
Written by Maulana Mohammad Ahsan Osmani
Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah
Darul Ifta Birmingham